The Pain of a Parent: A Devotional of Hope and A Promise

When a Parent’s Heart Breaks: Finding Hope in the Pain

Honoring Parents Through the Seasons

As we step from the gentle reflections of Mother’s Day in May into the honoring of dads on Father’s Day here in June, specifically tomorrow, I find myself reflecting deeply on my own mother. I now see so clearly the pain she endured raising three girls alone, from toddlers to grown women. Many of you reading this know the burden of parenting firsthand, and my heart compels me to speak directly to someone today who may be carrying a heavy, hidden pain over their child, a prodigal wandering far from home, a little one battling illness, a teenager lost to the streets, or a young adult bound by addiction. I understand every one of these burdens because I have walked these roads myself. From one parent to another: I stand with you today.

The LORD is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves such as have a contrite spirit. Psalm 34:18 (NKJV)

Seeing Through a Parent’s Eyes

I would have never fully grasped the depths of my mother’s pain had I not faced my own storms. While she never walked through childhood cancer, I did. My son Chancelor was diagnosed at just 13 months old with Retinoblastoma—a journey of pain, fear and countless tears. There are other moments too raw for words, moments only a parent who has fought similar battles can truly understand. Looking back, I now see so vividly what my mother endured when my twin sister and I left home at 17. She fought desperately for us while we carelessly lived our lives. Now, having faced heartbreak with my own daughter, I see my own mom's pain with new eyes.

Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the LORD your God is giving you. Exodus 20:12 (NKJV)

A Cry from the Heart

How I wish I could call her now, not just for advice but to say, “Mom, I understand. I’m sorry for the pain I caused you. Thank you for every prayer you prayed through your tears.” I remember her quiet weeping on the phone over us girls, and back then I could not comprehend her sorrow. But now I do.

Her children rise up and call her blessed… Proverbs 31:28 (NKJV)

Empathy Forged in Fire

I have cried. I have wept bitterly. I have shouted at the heavens and begged God to help me carry the burdens of a parent’s heart. If you are a parent of a toddler and haven’t faced the struggles that come with a rebellious teenager, it’s hard to fully grasp that pain. If you have a teenager but have never held your breath in a hospital waiting room for a doctor’s report on your baby, it’s hard to feel that particular agony. We can comfort, we can pray, and we can offer sympathy but true empathy is often forged only in the fire.

Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.
Galatians 6:2 (NKJV)

Pain Deeper Than Words

If you’re a parent who has never wrestled with a child’s addiction, then you may not know the depth of despair that comes with watching your son or daughter fight the demons of addiction. If you’ve never had to bury your child, something I thank the Lord I have not had to face—then that level of grief is almost impossible to truly comprehend. We can sympathize, but its much more difficult to emphasize. To truly know that kind of pain is to walk through it firsthand. I’ve compared this anguish to heartbreaks outside of parenting, even my own divorce but I believe nothing cuts deeper than the pain carried by a parent for their child.

Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning. Psalm 30:5 (NKJV)

I Understand You, Dear Parent

I say all this to say: I understand you, dear mom, who is praying for your child’s divine healing. I understand you, parent, at your wit’s end with a rebellious teenager. I understand you, mom and dad, awake late at night asking God to break the chains of addiction binding your son or daughter. I stand with you in these battles that sometimes seem endless and unseen.

The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears, And delivers them out of all their troubles. Psalm 34:17 (NKJV)

Don’t Give Up

My prayers are with you. I am believing for you. I know our God does the impossible, and as Father’s Day approaches, I believe that good things are coming. The enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy, but our God redeems every tear and works all things together for good, just as He has promised in His Word.

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28 (NKJV)

Rooted in Christ

Our relationships must be deeply rooted in Christ; this is the only sure foundation for hope, healing, and restoration. Sometimes it feels impossible when you’re the only one praying; when your pleas seem to echo back empty, and your walk with Christ feels one-sided while your child appears not to care at all.

But remember this, dear mom and dad: before you are a parent, you are a child of God. Your prayers do not return void. They are heard. They are held. They will be answered in God’s perfect time and perfect will.

Behold, I am the LORD, the God of all flesh. Is there anything too hard for Me? Jeremiah 32:27 (NKJV)

Hold On, Don’t Let Go

If you are a parent who has lost a child, my heart aches for you. Though I can never fully understand your grief, I know that our Savior heals the brokenhearted. There is purpose in your pain, and one glorious day, you will see your precious child again in heaven. Hold on to the promises of God, cling to them even if you’re hanging on by a thread. Tie a knot if you must, but don’t let go and don't give up.

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3 (NKJV)

The Promises Still Stand

His promises are “yes” and “amen.” Mom, Dad, you may be carrying the pain of a parent, but more than anything, you are a beloved child of God. Every promise in His Word is for you and your children. Keep praying. Keep believing, hold onto faith. Don't give up. Keep standing. God is working, even now.

For all the promises of God in Him are Yes, and in Him Amen, to the glory of God through us. 2 Corinthians 1:20 (NKJV)

Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness… Ephesians 6:13–14 (NKJV)